Project Finance Pro Breaks Record, Says "DRO" 16 Times In One Day Without Knowing What It Means
SAN FRANCISCO, CA - The Sunion has received numerous reports that 8 Minute Energy project finance manager Anthony Luciano set a new record earlier this week by using the term “DRO” at least 16 times throughout the course of the day, without having even a baseline knowledge of what the acronym means.
According to reports, Luciano first uttered the phrase while eating a bagel at 8:32 AM, pacific time, saying to a peer “I was thinking that return estimate you have in the model might be a little off, because didn’t the lender say they would take a DRO?”
One of Luciano’s co-workers (who wishes to remain anonymous) told The Sunion that during a team meeting at 9:30, he asked his teammates if anyone had “heard of a situation where the tax investor’s contribution goes through a DRO account.” Afraid of looking stupid, every team member reportedly responded with a simple “no” and then pretended to receive a text message from their spouse.
Luciano’s boss, Evelyn Marsh, said she grew concerned about having staffed Luciano as a transaction lead when she heard him say that the tax investor wouldn’t be able to pass an “economic sustenance” test if their DRO “went negative”. “Yeah while Anthony was saying this he was looking at me very intently - seemingly searching for any reassuring signals from me. He must have thought I was buying it, because he went on to recommend that we change the structure to a sale-leaseback so that the DRO could ‘go higher’. It really seemed like he was just flailing around hoping to stumble on something accurate. By now most everyone knows that that never happened.”
In the early afternoon, when Luciano had already hit double digits, everyone started to perk up in their seat. Another coworker told The Sunion “it was sort of like realizing a pitcher has a no-hitter in the 6th; everyone sat up in their seat a little bit, anxious to see if he could bring it home. We all knew it was a lot to expect him to find six more ways to violently miss on the concept of the Deficit Restoration Obligation - I mean there are really only so many breathtakingly stupid things you can say on such a specific concept - but having worked with him for a couple years, we knew that if anyone could pull off this level of ineptitude, it was Anthony.”
At 8:21 PM, Luciano reportedly broke the record by noting that the DRO would be “satisfied through the flow-of-funds to occur at substantial completion”. Immediately after making the statement, the entire 8ME team erupted in celebration and congratulated Luciano for his great accomplishment.
A teary-eyed Luciano said: “To hold this record….it’s…..it’s a dream, really. So many ‘PF’ professionals before me have set an extremely high bar for erroneously using terms they don’t understand in the slightest. I just wanted to go out there today and give it my best shot. With the support of my team, our country’s incredibly stupid subsidy mechanism for renewable energy, and the outrageously over-complicated US tax code, I was able to accomplish something truly extraordinary. It’s a very proud day for me.”