LEAKED: CleanPower 2022 Welcome Remarks
“To Save America, We Must Destroy SEIA”, Reads ACP President’s Fiery Welcome Speech at CleanPower 2022
SAN ANTONIO, TX - The Sunion has obtained a final draft of the welcome speech that American Clean Power Association (ACP) CEO Peter McLeigh intends to give on Tuesday at the CleanPower 2022 conference in San Antonio. In this startling address, McLeigh aims to make a clean and hostile break from its historical collaboration with SEIA. The speech is published in its entirety below:
Good morning and thank you for making the trip to San Antonio for CleanPower 2022!
[pause for applause]
It is wonderful to be here. The growth of this conference is inspiring, and it is my privilege to welcome over five thousand industry leaders, policymakers, academics, scientists to San Antonio.
[pause for applause]
We are humbled and delighted to host you.
On my first day in this role three years ago, the board and I set out a clear and singular goal: for the long-term success of our industry, ACP must become a top-tier industry association with genuine political power, an association that puts us on a level policy playing field with our peers in the fossil industry. This has been my sole focus as ACP’s CEO, and we are excited to announce here today the launching of the most critical phase of this plan: to be succinct, ACP will destroy SEIA and seize control of the clean energy movement. Indeed, we have a moral and societal obligation to do so.
To save America, we must destroy SEIA. And we must start today.
[pause for effect]
Now, let me be clear, ACP has the backs of the solar industry. Solar is vitally important to our goals at the American Clean Power Association. To those in our audience whose hard work drives the growth of the solar industry, we salute you and welcome you into our ranks.
But make no mistake, SEIA has slowly but surely suffered from a moral rot, and the organization today is little more than a shadowy cabal of satanists, perverts, and regional rooftop solar installers.
[pause for boos and jeers]
Everywhere that you turn, the decay within SEIA is apparent. The leadership of SEIA serves at the whims of the world’s most powerful organizations: China, Russia, the Illuminati, the Catholic Church, “Q”. What do these secretive powers have in common, and what evil deeds could they have presupposed for the clean energy industry? The prospect of a tyrannical SEIA that controls our every move is both terrifying and imminent. We must be brave, and we must take action.
If you ask me, our children should not be forced to grow up in a world where every book they read and every television show they watch portrays a world where rooftop solar is ubiquitous and, underneath those same roofs, happy families sacrifice their blood to Satan, blood collected by mysterious henchmen of Chinese and Russian oligarchs.
I fear a future of America when the evil forces of SEIA attempt to enter our homes by way of “net metering” and “routine inverter maintenance”, what should stop them there? We could wake up one day and find solar bill credits mysteriously show up in rubles and renminbi instead of the US dollar. I fear for a future when the inverters in our electrical rooms beam out mind control rays to our young children, turning us all into brainless sheep, roaming the streets with dead eyes muttering “I save 10% each month thanks to this SunRun PPA” and “surrender to the truth, come with us, we all must give the ultimate sacrifice for our fathers, our lords - Chinese communists,” What will you say when this day comes? What will you do to stand up to this tyranny? What will future generations think when we fail to act?
Today we say, enough!!
[pause for effect]
What can you do in light of such impending armageddon? What can you, the patriots, the defenders of America and utility-scale clean energy, do to turn the tide against evil, and bring our industry into the light of truth?
The answer is simple: an organization without members cannot stand! You have blood on your hands until the day that you terminate your SEIA membership! The hard-earned dollars from your company that go to SEIA, every one of those dollars brings us closer to a dark and tragic future. Nobody should be able to sleep at night knowing that their SEIA membership is accelerating the descent of America into a satanic hellscape, where evil reigns and net metering programs prosper.
[pause]
ACP will be the vanguard of destroying SEIA, and bringing righteous order upon the clean energy industry! We will represent you, and keep your families safe. ACP offers several tiers of membership at reasonable rates to meet your needs, allowing you to make the right commitment for your organization to the primary objective of destroying SEIA and its shadowy, evil backers. Oh, right…and also enabling the swift and profound energy transition that our country and planet desperately needs.
Thank you for your support, and with that I turn over the stage to our next speaker, FERC Chairman Richard Glick.