EXCLUSIVE: Consortium of Dev Shop CEOs Agree to Continue Hopelessly Seek $50-100m “Platform Deal” Not Available Since October of 2022 (FULL DETAILS)
CHICAGO, IL. The CEOs of 67 different renewable energy, clean fuels, hydrogen etc. firms met in Chicago on Monday to discuss tactics related to “raising” the ~$75 million they’ve “needed” since January. Leaked reports indicate that the consortium unanimously agreed to continue deluding themselves into believing they could close a “minority, non-control growth equity platform investment” which allows them, through one “simple” transaction, to cover needs including i) “LCs”, ii) development capital, iii) founder liquidity, iv) team growth and overhead, generally, v) construction capital, vi) seeding an IPP, and vii) development of some sort of proprietary something or other.
Discussions reportedly centered on whether or not the group should be concerned with the reality that most of CEOs present had been in the market seeking the described capital for 6-9 months, and approximately 40 of them have experienced at least one dead deal. The consortium concluded these facts and patterns were merely anecdotal and can be safely ignored.
“In 2021 there were a ton of deals that got done that looked exactly like the one I want to do, so why wouldn’t I get that same deal?” said one anonymous CEO attendee.
Two investment bankers were reportedly asked to attend the meeting to provide insight on market conditions. One, speaking under the condition of anonymity, told The Sunion that “…we implored the group - begged them, frankly - to understand that transactions consummated three or four years ago at peak exuberance should in absolutely no way inform expectations today, but the group just kept rattling off examples of rich cash-out deals their buddies closed half a decade ago,” said the banker, adding: “I think one guy actually said ‘but [redacted name] got that sweet deal from [redacted IPP] and bought a speedboat he named Braganauts. That’s the deal I want. I want the Braganauts deal.’ It was…tough to watch.”
As previously reported in The Sunion, numerous factors, including interest rates, tougher fundraising markets, crowded queues, geopolitical risks, fears of a civil war, mediocre M&A markets, and the reality that no more than 3 developer platform investments have ended well in the history of the renewables industry, are creating significant headwinds for those seeking large sums of cheap and flexible capital with no strings attached. These leaked reports from the Chicago summit seem to indicate a continued unwillingness to acknowledge these realities amongst the developer CEO community.
One attendee, asked what he plans to do if the desired transaction fails to materialize by year end, said: “Same thing everyone does - shamelessly beg all the people who previously offered us rational, right sized, market-appropriate facilities with properly-priced risk to give us the same deal we rejected circa 2022, and then when they opt not to do so we’ll unceremoniously layoff 2/3 of our team, fire-sell our pipeline for .22 cents on the dollar, and become a VP of Partnerships or something similarly vacuous and cushy at Vistra, Vitol, Octopus, or whatever, before eventually spinning out to form a new development shop with a cool new name and a ‘proprietary development approach’, which will, of course, be promptly funded by some shitstick who didn’t bother doing the math on how much capital/value I destroyed three years prior."
Other meeting attendees could not be reached as they were busy drinking $1000 glasses of scotch at the hotel bar, bragging about their plans to also develop “hyperscale data centers” despite not having the capital, knowledge, or staff to do so, and no line of sight to supporting their existing assets’ development.